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Certainly there are such people in the church, but there are such people in any organization, and I would challenge you to remember that the members are also individuals with thoughts, feelings and the ability to rebel in their own ways.
Yes, talk talk talk about everything yoiu can think of, but beyond that I would suggest pre-marital counseling from people knowledgeable in each tradition at play this will probably take two different counselors, who might be faith-based.
You are atheist and that's not changing.
Also don't ask questions that are too intrusive, or those that you would not like to answer yourself.
Accept yourself, and feel God accepting you, and everything else will follow.