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But when my oldest daughter hit 12, the lessons started to have one major theme: This is what girls are told should be their primary goal. Or, I might be in class.
I don't know why the system allows this type of treatment Not only do the residents feel like they "should" be giving every single bit of their energy, intellect, passion, soul to their residency programs, but they are told by their program directors, attendings and everyone else around them that they "must". Marriage offers a chance to develop generosity of spirit and a willingness to be improved by the one we love, no matter what faith tradition he or she may claim.
But from what you said, this girl doesn't sound like she is going to be content to have a marriage for time only.
I think in most situations its either you join or she leaves- either you, or the church.
I've learned that when I need attention, it's best to ask for it rather than wasting time acting sad or frustrated.