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Honestly, I don't have very good advice, but keep being you and hopefully she won't let her religion blind her like it blinded me. He often tells me how happy he is to return to a clean home, warm meal, and me in the doorway-and I think that makes residency all the more bearable for him.
I grew up in Utah, attended BYU, and served a mission. I can only say that I was that girl, 10 years ago.
That's all we're really saying. They value femininity, motherhood, and masculinity in men.